March 1, 2009
Happy Birthday, Brendan! As I write this, I am thinking of where I was four years ago at this very moment. I had just given birth to Brendan about an hour and a half ago. He had just passed away in my arms as he was born with a condition “not compatible with life”. We loved him and lost him all within an hour and a half. You can’t begin to imagine what it is like to bury one of your children unless you have actually done it. The sadness never really goes away; it’s just not all-consuming.
You can’t know how great it feels when someone remembers his birthday. Yes, on this day four years ago, we suffered the terrible loss of our son, but knowing others still remember means so much to us. Thanks to all those who wished us well.
We made our annual graveside visit today. We put the traditional bunch of white tulips on Brendan’s grave, and then walked over to mom’s grave as well. Ally did the honors this year. She put the bunch of pink roses right on top of mom’s name. It was very sweet..and cold. Ahh, what our world would be if they both were here…
Ally is doing well. She getting more involved at school. I know, for those of you who know her, you are probably surprised to read she a bit shy at school. Well, I think she’s finally beginning to come out of her shell. She loves Show ‘N Tell. Last week she brought in some Mardi Gras beads to share with the class. She was so excited to tell everyone about them; she went around and showed each child the beads “with a big smile on her face” (so said the note from the teacher). Later that same day, she “got her groove on” during music too! Let me tell you, the girl can spin in a circle for soooo long without getting dizzy. It’s crazy!
Benjamin is doing well too. He talks in full sentences now. One of his favorite things to do is tattle on Allyson. He’s always saying, “Mommy, look at Ally!” He says that when he knows she’s doing something she’s not supposed to be doing. - He loves to sing. Whenever we have on music, he shakea his little hips and sings - even if he doesn’t know the words! It’s very funny. - He’s also getting in his two year molars. His top gums now have bumps on them too. It usually takes a while for his teeth to come on once them start to appear. I wish, for his sake, that they would come in quickly. They really seem to bother him at night. He’s woken up a few times the past week. Poor baby…
I register Ally for kindergarten this week. I can’t believe she’s going to be old enough to be in kindergarten next year, but she is. She’s such a tiny little thing…you’d never guess it.